i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
