it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
