I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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