I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
