i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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