WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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