i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
