I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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