"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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