fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
