Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
