Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
