i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
