Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
