He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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