I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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