9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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