just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
