Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
