Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
