dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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