i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
my liver is dry heaving
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
