We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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