He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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