Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
