he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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