Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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