My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
