I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
