At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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