38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
