You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize