We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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