I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
