I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize