WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Every concussion has its silver lining
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
