Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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