she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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