Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Randomize
