3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The struggles of a small town man whore
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize