New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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