I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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