No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wish you could order shots online.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
