A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
