Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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