Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
