let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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