Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize