Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Less talking, more tequila
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
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