before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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