I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
