We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
