I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
