captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
