How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
