I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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