so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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