Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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