It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i think i have two assholes
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
