how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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