And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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