think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
