So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
