8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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