Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
