i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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