is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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