I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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