She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
