can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
