But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
