She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
