You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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